I'm still here!

It's been quite a while since my last post. I've often thought about giving a quick update, but life with a toddler kept getting in the way. As anyone with cancer can tell you, if you've ever come across a cancer blog that hasn't been updated in a while, the first thought that crosses your mind is: they must have died. I've had that thought numerous times, in those early days of diagnosis where I spent hours scouring the internet for signs of hope, and unfortunately most of the time that was exactly the case. So in the event that anyone has stumbled upon my blog, searching for hope, I owe it to you to at least give a cyber shout-out saying "I'm still here!" 

Halloween party, October 2016

Sadly, we did lose a special member of our family in 2015. Less than two weeks after Ben's first birthday, we had to put our sweet Charley down. It was probably the hardest thing I've ever done, and we miss him every day. At some point, we'll be ready to adopt another dog, but it'll be really hard to replace him!

The day we said goodbye to Charley. 12/1/15

Moving on to happier news...Ben celebrated his 2nd birthday back in November and just like his 1st birthday, he loved being the center of attention! These days, he's all about trains, racecars, airplanes, trucks, basically anything with wheels that can go, in his words, "really fast." Jungle, farm, and zoo animals are also hot topics. I can give you a long list of lovely adjectives to describe him, but honestly, words just don't do enough justice. If you've spent any amount of time around him (minus those inevitable moments when he's in meltdown mode and patience becomes a real virtue), you know that he's just one special kid. In the words of Bruno Mars, we are #blessed! (Love me some Bruno Mars...)

As far as my ongoing treatment, I continue taking a daily aromatase inhibitor, exemestane, to block production of estrogen (because my cancer loved estrogen). I've also continued with Lupron injections every 3 months, to make sure that my body remains in menopause. After about a year of dealing with hourly hot flashes, I finally decided it was time to complain to my doctor, because I knew other people who took medication to lessen the severity. I was tired of sugarcoating how I felt. It was misery! So, I started on a low dose of Effexor, which...made no difference whatsoever. I upped the dose a little bit, and am happy to report that the hot flashes are way more manageable! They still occur, but aren't as bad (more like "warm flashes"). THANK THE HEAVENS!

I've had two PET scans now, along with annual mammograms and MRI's, and so far they've all been clear. Risk of recurrence is the highest during the first 5 years after treatment, and I'm pretty much at the halfway point right now. It's a very long period of cautious optimism. I see my oncologist every 3 months, my radiation oncologist every year (who recently said my skin is healing fabulously, and doesn't even look like I had radiation), and I "graduated" from seeing my breast surgeon. At one point, I consulted with a plastic surgeon because I've yet to have any reconstruction surgery (ie, still flat as a pancake on one side). But, I wasn't crazy about the doctor and have tabled any surgery plans for now. I'm just not ready or able to take extended time off work for the necessary recovery time. Our monthly health insurance premium now exceeds our mortgage. It's scary to think that costs could get to a point where we can no longer afford it, or that coverage could be dropped altogether due to my dreaded "pre-existing condition" status. Needless to say, I'm quite anxious to see how the new president will handle the healthcare crisis. Because it's bigly.

When I first got cancer, I found an online support group of other women who also went through treatment during pregnancy. Hands down, it was and still remains the greatest resource for me. In 2014, there were about 40 members. Now, there's over 300! Several have died. Many others thought they were in remission for a brief time only to have the cancer spread, forcing them into grueling lifelong treatments. Despite this, we all provide each other with a lot of hope, sharing pictures of our healthy chemo babies and cheering each other on whenever somebody has a clear scan or hits an important milestone. The video below features just a few of us (Ben & I are right around the 7:00 mark).

About a year ago, I contributed a chapter to a book that was written by several "cancer mamas", chronicling different aspects of cancer and pregnancy. It's currently in the process of getting published. We're hoping to put any proceeds toward helping others in our group. I was also honored to have a small part in putting together an informational booklet for Living Beyond Breast Cancer. You can request a free copy or read the online version by clicking here.

Living Beyond Breast Cancer conference, September 2016

My sister (in remission!) & Ben, November 2016

Thank you for reading and following along on this crazy journey!