Hi, my name is Ben.

On Thursday, November 20th, 2014 at 1:14pm, Benjamin David arrived. He weighed in at 6lbs.2oz, was 18 inches long, and immediately demonstrated a very healthy set of lungs. Despite being almost 5 weeks premature, he had zero complications and didn't have to go to the NICU.  We are so happy with how things turned out!  Ben had no choice but to fight his way to be here and Jeremy and I couldn't be more proud of him.

Welcome to the world, Sweet Potato.

I'll post more details about his birth story later, as well as the status of my cancer treatments (in a nutshell, I'm on a break from chemo to allow a few weeks recovery from the c-section).  For now, here are some pictures from Ben's first few days as an official member of our family :)

We have so much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.  Hope everyone gets to enjoy the holiday surrounded by people they love!

Induction Day is Here!

I'm 35 and 1/2 weeks today and scheduled to start the induction process at 5pm, which means today is full of anticipation!  We're so excited to meet Benjamin but can't believe the big moment is finally approaching.  Here's what's been going on over the past few weeks:

The nursery is just about finished...

...all that's missing is Sweet Potato!

All things considered, life has been pretty uneventful lately (at least for our new normal). After my last AC chemo on 10/28, I started to feel sick on Halloween and that following weekend.  It was relatively short-lived, however, and I went back to work the next week. I continued to have doctor's appointments pretty much daily, sometimes twice per day. My post-chemo labwork was good and the induction date was confirmed, exactly 3 weeks following my last chemo, at the point when I should be feeling my strongest/healthiest. The plan is to try and have a normal delivery, because recovery time will be shorter and I can then start the next rounds of chemo as soon as possible (i.e. possibly less than 1 week after I deliver).  If I end up with a c-section, the chemo might be delayed a few days to allow for recovery.  

I've been told that most people tolerate the new chemo drug (Taxol) better than my previous cocktail.  The primary side effects are: fatigue, joint/muscle pain, low blood counts, hair loss, neuropathy (numbness of hands and feet), and some people have allergic reactions upon getting the first dose.  However, I've seen that many women who have been treated for cancer during pregnancy actually report that Taxol hit them a lot harder than they expected.  So basically, things can go either way.  I'll be having 12 weekly treatments over the course of the next 3 months.  I'm sad that this might affect bonding with the baby, as I'll have to leave him every week for treatment, and then possibly deal with the side effects as the week goes on.  I'm not able to breastfeed due to the chemo (not to mention only being able to operate at 50% capacity in the first place...).  I'm just hoping to push through and am SO THANKFUL that we have a great support group nearby who are ready and waiting to help us get through any rough patches :)

On 11/6, I went to my OB for another non-stress test, the 2nd one that week.  I went by myself, and the nurse set me up on the monitors and said she'd check me in about 20 minutes.  After what felt like at least 40 minutes, she finally returned and said the doctor was finishing up with another patient and would be in shortly.  Another 15 minutes went by and I was starting to get restless!  My appointment was right before lunchtime and the hallway started to sound pretty quiet, so I was convinced they forgot about me.  I started clearing my throat and readjusting my position, so the crinkly paper they put on the exam table would make some noise to get their attention.  The room was hot and pregnant ladies don't deal with heat!  Finally, the doctor came in, looked at the data from the monitors, and said she didn't see the baby's heart rate accelerate enough times.  She wanted to send me for a bio-physical profile (a special kind of ultrasound test).  Since they don't do these in their office, she told me to head to the hospital so I could have it done there.  Not what I wanted to hear, as I was planning to work in the afternoon.

I sent my husband an "it's not an emergency, but..."  text and he called back after a few minutes.  We debated whether it'd be worth it for him to leave work (as a teacher, he can't exactly just drop everything and run).  I told him it was no big deal and he could just meet me at the hospital later that afternoon.  But, he didn't want me to go by myself, so he made arrangements to have someone take over his class.  Sidenote: his entire school has been so amazing throughout this journey.  He's been coming home with meals made by teachers or PTA members 3 times a week, his team of coworkers have helped carry the weight of the 1,000 some-odd tasks that teachers are expected to attend to every day, and his administrators have been very understanding.  He has this huge team rooting for us, and I've never even met the majority of them.  Saying "thanks" just doesn't seem like enough.

We headed to the hospital's labor and delivery unit and a nurse set me up on some monitors again.  The non-stress test here is so much easier.  You don't need to press the Jeopardy button every time you feel movement, you can just lay there and let the monitor...monitor.  Much more relaxing this way!  Ben's heart rate looked great and she observed several accelerations in a matter of minutes.  Gee, wish he would've showed off like this an hour ago!  Next, a technician came in to do the ultrasound.  For a bio-physical profile, the tech has 30 minutes to observe four specific behaviors:  heart rate, muscle tone/movement, breathing, and amniotic fluid.  For each behavior that's observed, the baby gets 2 "points".  Ben quickly earned 6 points for heart rate, movement, and fluid levels.  The final behavior that he needed to demonstrate was breathing.  Since babies don't actually breathe in the womb, they just practice how to do it.  Then, when they're born, their muscle memory kicks in and they'll know what to do.  In order to earn his final 2 points, he needed to practice this for at least 60 seconds.  So we all stared at the screen waiting to see the very subtle up/down motion of his chest.  He did this several times, but the duration wasn't long enough for him to earn points.  So, Jeremy and I were left waiting while the tech reported back to my OB to see what she wanted me to do next.  

The monitor of truth.

One of many non-stress tests.  Hooray for Skittles!

Lo and behold, the OB wanted to admit me overnight, so I could stay hooked up to monitors and re-take the biophysical profile in the morning.  Totally wasn't expecting this to turn into such a big deal, so needless to say I was a cranky patient.  My main complaint about having so many doctors on my treatment team is that sometimes they don't communicate with each other.  Several times my OB has said things like, "I left a message with him" (meaning the MFM specialist, who happens to be FEMALE).  I really trust the maternal fetal medicine specialist, because she's dealt with pregnant cancer patients before (unlike my OB).  If the MFM isn't worried about something,  then I don't worry about it either.   My OB on the other hand, is overly cautious, and I just wish she consulted with the MFM before sending me for excessive tests, monitoring, etc.  While of course it's been nice that we get to keep a closer eye on the baby,  it does cause added stress,  which is something I'm trying to minimize with everything else that's already on my plate.  Not to mention I had to cancel a bunch of work appointments (translation: loss of wages) and cough up more co-pays for the hospital stay...we try to put the financial aspects of all this aside for the time being, but it does get annoying to feel like we're paying for things unnecessarily.  Even several of the nurses directly asked us, "so...why are you being kept overnight?"

Ok, rant over.  My parents were able to go to our house to pack us a few things, and take care of Charley.  And then Jeremy and I basically just tossed and turned until the next morning because sleeping in a hospital usually sucks!  At around 3am I awoke to the sounds of the woman in the next room giving birth, which was initially so terrifying that I considered tearing off my monitors and making a run for it; but a few moments later I heard a baby crying and was reminded that the end result is well worth it. 

The next morning we got ready for the ultrasound and I was told to drink juice and eat a good breakfast to ensure an active baby.  Challenge accepted!  I strategically waited until just before the ultrasound to down a cup of orange juice and eat some toast covered in jelly.  Then all we could do is cross our fingers and hope that Ben cooperated!  Sure enough, he did, though the breathing behavior was again the last thing we waited to see. After that, it was back to the room to wait and be discharged.  

But wait!  We had to get permission from the OB in order to leave, who happened to be down the hall doing a delivery.  So again we waited, and waited....and finally she came in, only to tell me that she wanted me to get hooked up to the heart-rate monitors again and then contact the MFM specialist, as she thought it would be best for the specialist to determine whether or not I could leave.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME!  She certainly didn't ask for the specialist's opinions when it came to admitting me in the first place.  She then proceeded to lecture me that because this is a high risk pregnancy, we're keeping a closer eye on things.  She also referenced my "issues" with high blood pressure and gestational diabetes, both of which are complete non-issues.  My blood pressure has been great throughout, and the only time my glucose has spiked is after getting doped up on steroids during chemo, which is one of the side effects.  It returns to normal once the steroids are out of my system.  I began to wonder if she even knew which patient she was talking to or if I needed to school her on the effects of drug interactions?    

Thankfully, the specialist called back right away and said that I could leave.  So we high-tailed it out of there as quickly as possible before anyone could change their minds.

My frenzy of appointments died down for a few days, allowing us to tie up loose ends and make sure the house is ready for Sweet Potato!  Jeremy also started his leave from work, which means we'll both be off from now until January (well, mostly off at least).  He's also been scrambling to finish up a huge project for his graduate course so we can finally just concentrate on becoming a family of 3 (well, 4...if Charley is reading this.  He's a very intelligent dog, afterall).  

He loves to help open gifts/bask in the tissue paper :)

In the past two days leading up to the induction, the MFM suggested that I get steroid shots, to help give Ben's lung development a quick boost.  While this is more beneficial when given to babies delivered at younger gestational ages, she explained that in my case, it might not make a huge difference, but it's not going to hurt either (aside from temporarily making my blood sugar increase).  I've pretty much "graduated" from her care at this point, which was bittersweet because she's a fantastic doctor.  She provided me with her personal cell phone and email, to keep in touch.  I'm so happy that Ben had such a caring person to look out for him as he continued to grow.  And grow he has!  The last weight estimate at 34 and 1/2 weeks put him at 5lbs 9oz, which is right in the 47th percentile. It'll be interesting to see how accurate the estimate is (and it won't be too much longer until we find out!)

Thank you again to everyone who takes the time to read this, and thank you for the continued prayers that are sent our way.  We feel the love.