Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

It's been three weeks since my first chemo treatment, and I must say that things have gone pretty smoothly!  I didn't experience many side effects, and got back to my normal routine about 6 days later, despite the oncologist advising that I stay home for 10 days. My current plan of action is to simply work when I'm feeling good, and stay home when I'm not.  And of course, try to avoid anyone who might be sick.  I feel very fortunate to have a job that allows me to do this fairly easily.  If I worked a typical 9-5, I imagine it'd be a lot more difficult!  But, no work=no money, so I'm trying to keep things balanced.

Three days after chemo, I returned to the hospital for IV fluids.  My mom came along to keep me company.  The same nurse who administered my chemo came to work with me again, but she had trouble accessing my port.  She was able to insert the needle just fine, but couldn't get a blood return, which I presume is necessary to ensure that it's working right. After calling over a few other nurses to mess with it for a while, they still couldn't get it and decided to just administer fluids with a regular IV.  A minor setback, but I'm really hoping they don't have trouble with it when I go back for my next treatment.  Ain't nobody got time to be a human pin cushion!  I got fluids for about 2 hours and then headed home.  

I had an upcoming appointment for a dental cleaning and x-rays, but my dentist first wanted me to confirm with my oncologist that a cleaning would be ok.  So I called the oncologist's office and they advised that I cancel the cleaning, to avoid risk of bleeding/infection.  I take pretty good care of my teeth, so hopefully it won't be a big deal that I'll have to postpone this for a while.

Over Labor Day weekend we celebrated Jeremy's birthday!  It was literally a game-day decision, because I had no idea how I'd be feeling, but I felt decent and wanted to get out of the house.  So, I got us tickets to the Red Sox-Rays game and we thoroughly enjoyed watching the Red Sox lose (and my dad thoroughly enjoyed giving Jeremy a hard time about it in his Rays shirt and Joe Maddon glasses).

Some leave happy, some leave sad!

Over the next two weeks I worked a pretty regular schedule, albeit at half-speed.  On 9/9, I checked in with my regular OB.  Sweet Potato's heartbeat was nice and strong and I measured right on target at 25 weeks.  On 9/12, I had an appointment with the MFM specialist.  Jeremy left work a little bit early so he and my mom could come along.  I had an ultrasound and we enjoyed watching the baby move around, though he preferred to turn his back to us so we couldn't get any decent pictures!  We caught a glimpse of him opening his eyes and mouth but mostly he just showcased the top of his head and his back.  But, everything looks great and he now weighs about 2.4 lbs...he's gained over a pound in the past 3 weeks and is even measuring a little ahead of schedule.  No growth restrictions here! 

One of the moments I'd been dreading began to happen exactly two weeks after chemo. The oncologist said that hair loss would begin around 10-14 days after treatment.  And on the 14th day, his prediction proved correct.  It started out as just a few extra strands when I brushed my hair, but got progressively worse each day.  By the end of the week, it was coming out by the handful.  I knew it was time to say goodbye.

Until we meet again, hair.

I made plans to go to a salon for a buzzcut on 9/13.  The night before, I took some time to cry and be upset about it.  Not gonna lie, it was more like a hyperventilating freak-out sobfest.  I'm learning that cancer isn't just a physical challenge, but also emotional and mental.  I'd read that out of all the side effects that chemo brings, people fear losing their hair the most.  And now, I was starting to understand why.  It's like losing your security blanket...losing your hair means that you will now wear a giant neon sign pointing out the fact that you're sick.  Add that to the attention that any typical pregnancy brings, and it just feels completely overwhelming!   Some people like to have fun with the process, by getting a crazy haircut or ridiculous wig, but I just wanted to get it over with and go home until the shock wears off.  I know it's not permanent.  I know it will grow back.  I know it's a sign that the chemo drugs are doing their job. But it still sucks!

So the next day I headed to the salon, mentally prepared to get the show on the road.  But, after quickly assessing my hair, the stylist felt that I didn't "need" to shave my head just yet.  She suggested that I get a really short cut and wait and see, because some people don't actually lose all of their hair.  I agreed to this, but deep down I knew it's just delaying the inevitable.  We then headed to a nearby wig shop, which I will simply describe as "unbeweaveable".  Let's just say that I could have very easily had hair like Beyonce, but I leaned toward something a little more natural looking...not sure when the wig will make it's debut, but it's nice to know it's an option I have.

Since then, my hair has continued to fall out when I touch it or look at it the wrong way, resulting in mini panic attacks and sadness each time.  I'm heading back to the salon after my chemo treatment tomorrow, to finally buzz it off.  It won't be soon enough.

This morning I had an appointment with my oncologist, to get labwork done and ensure that my counts are good for the 2nd chemo treatment.  I also asked the doctor a few random questions:

Should I get a flu shot? No, because even though it's recommended for pregnant women, vaccines aren't recommended during chemo due to lowered immunity.  

When should I get my glucose test (a standard test during pregnancy)?  On a day that you are feeling well, such as 1 week before your next chemo.

Will I get an MRI right after the baby is born, to see if the cancer has spread?  You can if you're really anxious about it, but otherwise I'd just wait until you're done with all of your chemo.  The chemo drugs you're taking now are already targeting cancer cells throughout your body and MRI results wouldn't necessarily change the treatment plan that's already in place.

So those are the highlights from the past few weeks.  I'm pumped and ready for chemo #2 tomorrow and crossing my fingers that things keep moving in a positive direction.  Thanks to everyone for the continued support and prayers, it means more than you know!