First off, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, so....yay for that! However, I consider July to be the month that I became "aware" of breast cancer, so even though I'm glad this month will bring attention to the cause, I'm not a huge fan of companies jumping on the pink bandwagon to try and drum up business under the guise of charity. In meeting other women with breast cancer, I've realized that this month is actually a very emotional time for many of them, having to see reminders EVERYWHERE; you can't even buy a can of soup without seeing pink ribbons plastered all over the packaging! It makes you wonder how much of the proceeds actually end up in the right place. And tongue-in-cheek phrases like "Save the tatas" take on a different meaning when you weren't able to save your own. While that sort of thing doesn't personally bother me that much, I definitely have a new perspective for women who might take issue with it. So I guess my advice is: see your doctor right away if you ever suspect anything is wrong, do your research before blindly supporting or otherwise donating to companies who claim to support breast cancer research/awareness, and maybe take the pink-ness overload down a notch :)
My second round of chemo was on September 16th. I met a 24-year-old going through treatment... shoot, I thought I was young! She was just starting her first round of Taxol, which is the next medication I'll start immediately after I have the baby. Turns out we have the same team of doctors, and we both have a thing for Disney (she got married on a Disney cruise and I got married at Disney World). We compared our wedding pics and our side effects and our opinions of our doctors and then went on our merry way like this was a totally normal interaction.
This time around I definitely experienced a lot of fatigue, starting two days after treatment. I went into a sleepy fog, and slept off and on for several days. The weather was also rainy/cloudy during this time so that definitely contributed to my reluctance to get out of bed! I returned to the hospital for IV fluids on 9/19 which went off without a hitch. After that, my mom and I (tiredly) drove to an appointment to get fitted for a prosthesis. This basically consisted of some new bras and a silicone "chicken cutlet" that makes me look considerably less lopsided in comparison to the sad little temporary insert that I got right after surgery. Luckily, my insurance covered the fitting because I'm sure if I had to pay out-of-pocket the going rate would be something like one milllllllllion dollars (cue Dr. Evil voice).
I'm getting used to my hair (or lack thereof). Though I haven't ventured out in public yet without wearing a hat, I must say that it feels nice to not have to go through the daily annoyance of washing/drying/straightening/brushing my hair. The hair loss has slowed down in the past week or so. I can't tell if it's trying to grow back already, or if it's just at a standstill? In the meantime, Jeremy thinks my head feels like a fuzzy baby bird. He tells me how pretty I am and I'm 99.9% certain that he genuinely means it and isn't just feeding me lines. :)
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| Best quilt ever. |
For the next two weeks, I returned to work. This was my first venture visiting clients since I lost my hair. As a behavior analyst, I work with people of all ages who have autism and other developmental disabilities. I'll admit I was a little anxious to visit some of them, as they aren't used to seeing me look "different". I worried that a few might try to pull off my hat or even become aggressive because they have difficulty adapting to change and/or communicating their frustration. But, it turned out that I had nothing to worry about and I was able to carry on, business as usual, without a single issue. Here's a snippet of a conversation I recently had on one of my visits:
Client: So how's that cancer goin'?
Me: It's good, I'm taking special medicine to help me get better.
Client: What kind of medicine? Is it free? Dont worry, I won't tell nobody.
Me: It's medicine I get from my doctor. No, its not free...
Client: Well at least ya living and ya ain't dyin'!
(Touche).
On 9/25, I had a one-month follow up with my surgeon, Dr. A. She checked my incision, which continues to heal just fine. I also learned the results of my genetic testing: negative. In a nutshell, this means that I don't have any specific genetic markers that put me at higher-risk in the future for several types of cancer. While this is generally good news, it doesn't really explain "why" I'm having to deal with my current diagnosis. The doctor recommended talking to a genetic counselor to gain more understanding of the results, which will help me to decide what, if any, preventative measures I might take in the future. But for now, those types of decisions are completely on the back burner.
I'm 7 months (29 weeks) pregnant now, and on 10/3 we had an appointment with the Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist to check on baby boy and see how he's progressing. Jeremy took a half-day from work, and my mother-in-law also came along for a sneak peek at her first grandchild! We are SO happy to report that's he weighs over 3 lbs. now! That means he gained almost a full pound over the past three weeks. Everything is looking perfect and he was kind enough to show us his face this time. We can't wait to meet him in person :)
Other random news
I recently learned of a little something called "chemo brain." Basically, it's a term used to describe feelings of forgetfulness, "spacing out," trouble concentrating, etc. that people experience during and after treatment. As luck would have it, there's also something called "pregnancy brain" which involves the same type of symptoms. Needless to say, I admit I feel like I've been losing a few brain cells recently!
One day I poured a bowl of cereal, and immediately misplaced the milk cap. Within seconds, I had absolutely no recollection of where I put it. I checked the countertop, floor, trashcan, the silverware drawer, the fridge, my purse? I improvised and covered the milk container with some plastic wrap. That was over a week ago and still no clue where the cap went! I find myself having to proofread emails and work documents more carefully, as my grammar seems to be getting a little sloppy. I feel easily overwhelmed when trying to focus on tasks, like helping my husband with his graduate school course (he's training to become a behavior analyst, like myself). I've also occasionally mispronounced words or said words out of order, and didn't notice unless someone pointed it out to me. I'm sure these issues are short term but in the meantime at least I have some valid excuses!
My sister completed her 4th round of chemo on 9/23. Treatments have hit her harder than me, because her meds are different. The day after each chemo, she gets a Neulasta shot intended to boost her white blood cells. The result is feeling like she has the flu, coupled with severe joint/bone pain, fatigue, mouth sores, and food tasting weird. She's handling it like a champ, though, and has just TWO more treatments to go before she moves to the next phase! Her husband (AKA my favorite brother-in-law!) is continuing to recover from open heart surgery and will be returning to work next week. Let's hope the Steelers redeem themselves on Sunday, because surely it wasn't good for his heart to watch them lose last week (to the BUCS, of all teams!)
Third round of chemo is October 7th and I say BRING IT ON!
As always, thanks to everyone for keeping all of us in your thoughts and prayers. xoxo
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